Saturday, August 25, 2012

homesick but not homesick ... more like people sick.

One of my bestfriends got married yesterday and I wasn't there.

I'm having a hard time being here.

I am and I am not at the same time.  I am much less homesick than I used to be; which is wonderful.  And it's not everyday that I'd much rather move back to Portland.  I'm getting used to this.

But I'm having a hard time living life without the people I can't live without.  Like Ashley Waite.  And my lovely mentor, Mary Liggett.  How am I supposed to get mentored when I live 600 miles away?  And people like Becca-no-longer-Quint, Carissa Richards and seriously ... the list can go for days.

I also miss Portland summers; the most wonderful thing ever.  I miss wakeboarding on the most beautiful days with no agenda except to tear up the water, and get an amazing tan and chill with the best of friends.  I miss Portland Timbers matches like no other.  I miss the best job ever, being a camp leader at Camp Conestoga and getting paid almost nada.  And I miss BARISTA, some serious legit coffee; SF has nothin' on Barista.  

I guess I just miss home, but mostly the people.
And I'm thinking about moving back home, but who really knows what that means?

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

even at 26 ...

Even at 26, I could not be more confused about life.

I'm not sure how I can feel so disconnected from my creator.

And not really know what I am doing with my life ... or where I'm going.